Laziness Found To Be Mother Of Invention! In a landmark decision, the Necessity vs. Laziness court case has finally been decided. The case has wound its way through the labyrinthine legal system for the better part of 25 years during which bitter invectives, lies and unfounded rumor have been flung at all sides. The case started with the passage of the "No Social Life For The Begetters Of The Next Generation Act" (NSLFTBOTNGA) which was passed by the house of reprehensatives 30 years ago, but was retroactive to 85 years ago, such that all parents had to forfeit 18 years of reckless abandon and whimsy in return for being the object of spite and ungratefulness from their progeny. After the passage of the NSLFTBOTNGA, Necessity had been ordered to turn over 18 years worth of joy and drunkenness spent with friends, acquaintances and total strangers, this prompted a maternity suit against laziness, who had been sleeping on the father of inventions couch at the time of invention's conception. The most damning evidence came from character witnesses, which included Henry Ford ("I just wanted something to get me from point A to point B. I got tired of walking or bicycling everywhere, and horses kept dying or needing attention. I just needed something to move around in and not be a hassle. I was lazy."), Tim Berners Lee ("It took so long to disseminate scientific work between peers via mail or publications... even talking to these people was tedious -- have you ever listened to one of these lectures? I just wanted to be able to get up to date information out there without having to interact with all these fucking eggheads. I was lazy.") and Philo Taylor Farnsworth ("We've all flipped pages with slightly modified pictures on them in such a way as to trick they eye into believing there was a moving picture in front of us, but this required usage of a hand (often 2!) and certain thumb-based dexterity. After prolonged usage of the "flip-book" callouses could appear on the thumb. It was a time consuming and resource intensive way to view moving pictures. Many of my neighbors and friends had not even used the method due to its staggering usage of effort. I appeased all of my and their laziness through my invention."). Prosecution's phase of the trial lasted the majority of the 25 year case, the defense's opening statement, which was the only case presented (no witnesses or evidence was introduced) Laziness, who had not gotten a lawist yet, got half out of her seat and said "Yeah, whatever, fuck it."